Today.

Choose to be Kind. 

And be Grateful always. 

All the time. 

Pa-famous.

Pa famous. That's the perception of most of the people who knew me professionally when I resigned from my previous work and decided to put up my own agency.  They thought that I was envious of the company's owner's popularity. They thought that I wanted to be like her.  They (some of them) thought that I wanted a piece of what she achieved. 

Well the answer is a big NO. kung alam niyo lang. 

Both of my parents grew up in a working class environment. Not really poor not rich. They were taught to work hard for what they want and to not step on other people's toes in achieving their dreams. They were taught to be happy with simple things and save up for the future of their family. Both of them did not finish school as they have to work early on to help their parents (my lolos and lolas) support their respective big families. My father told me that he experienced eating basura food in Cebu just to survive. 

We were brought up by my parents with the values they have learned growing up. Among the 3 of us, I am the luckiest as I never got to experience the hardships as they building our family. Even though my parents were doing good at that time, we were taught to be humble and content. We were not spoiled and not deprived either. 

I think that helped a lot growing up, we know what's good and what's bad. We know to be grateful with what we have and to work hard if we want something out of our means. I think these contributed a lot when I decided to leave my former employer. I relied on my values that I have learned from my parents and grandparents. 

I feel sad for those who thought that I was inggit. Your forefathers are sad for you. 

Toodles!

40.

 Yesterday, I turned 40. 

Yes dear,  BIG 40. 

As they say life begins at 40 but I felt like life has already begun for me years ago. hahaha. What do they really mean by life begins at 40? Will my wrinkles go or it is just beginning? Will my problems go or should I expect more? 

Maybe that phrase means that you will get the true meaning of life when you turned forty years old. Because that's what I am feeling now. I feel more mature and knowledgeable. You get to choose your own battles. You only want a peaceful life, no calls and messages during your free time. You get to enjoy movies alone and reading books (which I am trying to get back to as well). I know feel that I have little time on earth and needs to do meaningful things. You really wanted to do a lot of things because you already realized that the light at the end of the tunnel is now bigger that how it was 10 years ago. 

I know think what to do next? I will be nothing in 30-35 years. People will ignore me because I am no use to them already. So much things to do in next 3 decades. My only wish is that I still get to reach in my 70s, being able to enjoy my grandkids. But for now, we continue to hustle. 

Thank you, Lord Jesus. 

Toodles!

Welcome back to my channel.

 Today, I started vlogging, again. 

For more than a year now, I am in a situation that I cannot really define as depression.  I really do not know what's happening and it is already affecting my productivity.  I tried to research about it, of course through google and just typing the feelings that I am experiencing. 

The results said that it is not really depression but borderline anxiety. I just need an outlet to voice out what I think and feel. I think it is just pent up emotions, creativity and energy. Thank you Dr. Google. I believe that writing a blog is a good idea and might as well continue my vlogging. When I started vlogging 4 years ago, the reason why I started to do it was because everyone is doing it and of course, the income you will earn from it. However, I got tired because I am pressured to do the things other vloggers would do. And I feel like it was not my personality. But I am thankful that I did uploaded some videos because I got to reminisce what happened in my life during those times.

Now I realize the positive side of vlogging. I got to capture the memories because we are not getting any younger. We are not able to go back and relive those memories in videos but only in our minds. I decided to doing it not because for money but because of the memories that I will be able to capture. I hope that it is not too late. 

Toodles!

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